Or, what two years of martial arts study taught me about teaching piano lessons....

A few months past my 40^th birthday, I embarked on a new adventure that surprised everyone who knew me—none more than myself. One sweltering summer evening, I marched into a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu studio and committed to subjecting myself to martial arts training for the next year. The following night, as I was falling through the air after a “take down,” I thought: “This is it. A lifetime of being protective of my body so as not to damage my hands and arms, a lifetime of being careful in every way possible, and tonight is the night I’ll break something that ruins me.” Luckily, the small distance between myself and the ground—or, rather, the blessedly thick mat padding the floor—limited the time I could ponder that awful thought. A heartbeat later, I was lying on the ground, amazed to discover that I was, in fact, perfectly fine. I was also hooked. I had found a new love in the study of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu that would come alongside one of my oldest passions—playing the piano.

At some point early in my BJJ training, I realized that I was often comparing my habits as a pianist and teacher to what I was learning on the mats. As we drilled different movement combinations, I noticed how similar the learning process was to the process of learning to play the piano. The exhaustion after each class gave me mental calm and clarity that I had previously found only after time at the piano keys. I saw that with each new skill that I developed, my outlook on life improved—even, and perhaps especially, when those skills came with great effort—much in the way it did when I was finally performing a newly-learned piece of music. With each class, I would find another connection between the process of studying BJJ and the process of learning to play the piano and marvel at the similarities between two activities that seemed so very different.

As I pondered the surprising connections between the study of piano and the study of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, my realizations colored and refined some of my perceptions as a piano teacher—especially as it regarded my adult students. I had always felt strongly that piano lessons were for anyone who wanted to learn, regardless of their age, talent, or potential, and the beautiful motto I encountered at the gym echoed a similar sentiment: Jiu Jitsu is for everyone. I had always cherished the joyful determination of my adult piano students and admired their courage in tackling a new skills. Even so, I’m not sure that I appreciated just how much courage learning a new skill took until I had to face my own fears on the mat each week.

I thought of the adult students who had told me that their piano lessons were changing their lives for the better. While I had treasured every such comment in the past, I had not fully understood them until those two years on the mat helped sustain and strengthen me through a season that was full of loss and heartache. On the nights I walked onto the mats sad and left feeling stronger, I thought particularly of two former students, both grandmothers, who had told me that coming to piano lessons was a kind of therapy for them. Once, a precious lady had confided that while we were working together, she forgot that her body was hurting; that those moments were some of the only pain relief she experienced. When she’d left my studio that day, I’d wept, both for her situation and for the honor she’d given me by sharing that comment. On the first night I walked off the mat calm and at peace after a day of anxiety and sorrow, I finally truly understood what she’d said.

Much like my adults students who generally study for a season and then move on, I, too, have taken a break from studying BJJ to focus on other goals. Still, though, those lessons learned on the mat have not left me. I’m not the same person that I was before. I’m stronger and braver now, and I believe that I’ve grown as a teacher as well. I continue to review and practice with my husband at home, even though I’m no longer in class each week, and our practice sessions still bring strength and joy. I’ll be forever grateful for the experience of learning Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. I often wonder if my former students still go to their pianos and practice what I taught them; I wonder if they are still nourished by the joy of playing the piano. I hope so.

To my precious friends at the two gyms where I spent those years training BJJ, you have my unending gratitude. Thank you for welcoming a stranger—the last person in the entire world anyone would expect to see walk into a martial arts studio—and teaching and encouraging me. I’ll carry the lessons I learned from you about BJJ and life itself forward and use them to lend to others some of the joy you gave to me.